On Motherhood and Being an Artist
I do not claim to call myself an expert in art or motherhood but I have been an artist my whole life and a mother for over 12 years. I do feel like I have learned a few things along the way. Today, on my birthday, I thought I would share with you some of my thoughts on being a creative and a mother.
Camden Plein Air 2024
My thoughts on Art & Motherhood
Everything has a season.
After I graduated with my BFA I didn’t create anything for a year. I was burned out from the continuous creative output it took to accomplish my degree. During that year I also became pregnant and had my first child (almost a year to the day I graduated from Academy of Art University). Eventually as the haze of new motherhood started to fade, I felt the pull to create again. I started small. I found a daily sketch prompt list on Instagram and decided to create a 3x5in card of art each day. These were no masterpieces but they were a way to exercise my creative muscles again.
Fast forward a couple of years to when I was given the opportunity to have my first solo show at Paramount Cafe in Cheyenne Wyoming, I created a beautiful 15 piece collection in 2 weeks. I found the time. I made the time. And that collection flowed out of me.
Currently I have found a rhythm where I create collections in February and October. The rest of the year I allow myself to play and create as inspiration strikes. As a mother and I believe as a creative, 100% output 100% of the time is not possible or sustainable. You need time to rest. You need time to gather inspiration. Recognizing and giving myself the freedom to create in seasons has removed the burden of feeling like I am a failure if I don’t create Every. Single. Day.
beauTEAful blooms, Paramount Cafe, Cheyenne Wyoming, 2013
Create in the in between.
As a mother it is often hard to find a whole day to dedicate to creating. And on the occasion I do have that day I almost freeze from the pressure of feeling like I have to create something great or my hours are wasted. For me, I have found I thrive best when I create in the in between. I also call these “stolen moments”. Moments when I wake up before the kids and the house is quiet and I can design a pattern. Moments when my kids are at activities and I have an hour alone in the car (where I am currently writing this). Moments when the baby is sleeping. Moments when you create along side your children. I have found there are many little moments, 15 minutes here, an hour there, where I can stretch my creative muscles. Is it harder to get into a flow state? Sometimes. Like with anything though. The more you practice the quicker you can drop into the flow of creativity.
Awake before my kids, painting in Austria
Give yourself grace.
On that note, don’t forget to give yourself grace. If you haven’t picked up a pencil in 3 years because life has been too overwhelming, that is ok. One of the most beautiful things I learned about my creativity after my year off was that my creativity is always there for me. I remember finishing that first painting and saying “Hey! I can still paint!” It was a beautiful feeling. It may be rusty and you may make some awful work at first, but keep going. You do not need to beat up yourself or your creativity. Start small. Experiment. Find the joy in creating again.
Quick small painting in Croatia
It is ok to pick your creativity.
My husband has a love and a passion for all things motorsports- racing, building cars, F1, drifting. If it has wheels, he loves it. One thing I have noticed over the years is when he has free time to go to the garage he never feels guilty. He doesn’t feel guilty about dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be put away, or vacuuming that needs to be done. He respects that time as his garage time and he enjoys every moment of it. Often he take more time than he originally planned without feeling like he has done anything wrong. Conversely, over the years, I have not allowed myself to create until all of the chores are done. Until the house is spotless. If you have children you know how utterly nonsense this is. With children the house is never spotless for long, there are always dishes to be done, laundry to be folded, and floors to be cleaned. So I have started to take a page out of my husband’s book. I choose to dedicate moments to my art with zero guilt for the long to do list of things I could be doing instead. The dishes will be there waiting. The laundry will be there waiting. And the vacuuming will be there waiting too.
Solo trip, painting in Sardinia
Ask for help.
And on that note, if you need it, ask for help. In a moment when I felt like I was drowning, and I was trying to do it all, we hired a house keeper. The mental energy that that choice freed up was more than I could have imagined. Recently my children attended Farm School once a week. I very much looked forward to the 5 hours of quiet time I had to enjoy my creativity in peace and quiet. During one season I had an incredible friend and we traded child care each week. I watched her kiddos as she watched mine. It was so helpful for both of us. You do not need to go it alone. You are not a failure as a mother, a person, or a creative if you ask for help. It is ok to say that you cannot do it all.
My friend Beth and I, making art and doing motherhood together
Include your children.
Art doesn’t need to be created in a vacuum. Bring your children into your process. Create with them. Inspire each other. I think it is important for children to see adults enjoying adulthood. Following their passions and doing things they love. Take an art class together. For years I taught “Paint with Your Parent” classes and I loved seeing how excited kids were to make something with their mom or dad. It was beautiful. Make small things. Make big things. Just make things.
Painting with my kids in Tuscany
Never stop growing and learning and trying.
When we stop learning, we start dying. We have this one life to live so why not learn as much as you can? Take a pottery class. Pick up that book on how to write poetry. Join a dance studio. There are so so so many opportunities out there. And remember, it’s okay if you are in a season where you cannot do all of the things right now. Give yourself grace and trust that the time will come. Remember your creativity will always be waiting for you to come back.
If art is not your thing then plug in gardening or running or reading or whatever brings you joy. Whatever makes you come alive and makes you feel like more than just a mom. Your kids are wonderful and amazing and important and you are wonderful and amazing and important too.
P.s. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.